Just say no....to speedos.

On Tuesday night Ron and I decided to take the kids to a local water slide park. It was a ton of fun and the kids always love going there. I find the park very entertaining because you just never know what you're going to see there. Of course there are the women that you love to hate because no one should look that good in a swimsuit. There are the men that really could care less about the slides, but are there to look at those women. On this particular day there seemed to be an overabundance of mid-life crisis or perhaps completely clueless customers. There were the women in bikinis who obviously didn't own a full-length mirror, and were perhaps trying to take 20 years off their actual age. Now don't get me wrong...props to them for having the self-confidence to wear such attire, but still. (I really have no room to be saying any of this...I am the frumpy mom with the t-shirt over her swimsuit, but at least I have the decency to cover up what shouldn't be exposed!) Anyway, there seemed to be a crazy amount of men in speedos that day. Now speedos are never ok, but they were just flat out wrong as these older men were trying to strut their stuff. It was especially entertaining watching these men check out the younger women and those women getting creeped out. I had to chuckle inside. You know, sometimes it's okay to NOT feel desired! There was one man in particular I noticed, mostly because he looked like a walking bear skin rug. He had hair EVERYWHERE!! And to make it worse, he was wearing....you guessed it, a speedo. There's probably a good chance he could have gotten away with wearing nothing due to his nice fur coat. So as my son Tanner and I are waiting in line to go down the slide, this hairy man stands behind us. It's now our turn to go, so Tanner and I head on down. We reached the bottom and decided to sit on the steps where you exit the pool to wait for Ron and Julia to come down. We're watching the slides and here comes the hairy guy in his blue speedo. He was really moving and hit the water so hard he nearly flipped over. All I can say is that the speedo didn't hold its place after such an impact. He stood up, apparently not knowing he was exposed and I immediately gagged. Unfortunately Tanner spotted the shifted speedo also and in his loud 3 year old voice said "Oh Mom! That's a hairy wiener!" I about died and I prayed that no one heard it over the sound of the water crashing into the pool off the slides. Thankfully hairy speedo guy realized his exposure before completely exiting the pool. Perhaps next time he will consider swim trunks.